i was gratified (3)

i was gratified
to hear you talk to me
today though i still find it hard to imagine why
you spend time on me you are one of those
people who seem too nice and more kind to me than I would
expect even predict or understand
not that i complain of course i simply tell you because it puzzles me
i was gratified to hear
you talk to me because
this signified i was not to you totally
insignificant and still worthy of some comment you may even have walked
all the way over for the prime purpose of saying a few
words to me both times the conversation was initiated by you
and yet
i do not feel altogether
happy with this turn of events not from any fault of your
own but merely from my own incompetence and inability to deal with the
actuality of talking to you and
more than that you talking to me so i did not reply
adequately though i may have replied
politely and sensibly the point is that i did not reply in a way that would lead
the conversation on and in anyway disclose
my thoughts and feelings toward you so that i might have appeared
positively hesitant which is certainly
not the case so i was displeased to find that as i thought
i am inadequate to you and generally i
fail as per usual nevertheless
i still came out of that encounter with a newfound
respect and energy for the day so
i cannot help but feel the encounter was positive

fun with stream-of-consciousness. stupid blogger has the margins too thin.