Dialogue for Cynic and Believer

Believer: When we are hurt
when we are broken
when we are damaged.
Our bodies draw in and close the wounds.
we harden, we separate ourselves.
we cut off our damaged parts.
pretend they were never there.

Cynic: we all make sacrifices.

Believer: we all make sacrifices but i dont know if I...
if i have to kill something of myself to be mended,
if i have to be less alive to stay living...
then i dont know if i want to be healed any more.

Cynic: everyone wants to be healed. Noone wants to stay in pain for ever.

Believer: but what if the only thing thats real is the pain.
everything else.. my whole life, its not mine any more
i dont feel like its me living it.
Sometimes i look in the mirror and wonder who this is.
why i care so much about what happens to him.

Cynic: you'll always be you, Believer. youre too strong to break up.

Believer: i dont think i want to be strong any more.

Cynic: I dont think you have a choice.
like you said; Our bodies draw in, we harden.
whether we like it or not.

Believer: already i feel like theres some kind of scar there.
less flexible, less open.
brittle and ugly.
where...
she.
used to be.
Isnt that ridiculous?
its happening already. Did you hear how hard it was for me to say that? just to say 'she'? not even her name?

Cynic: i dont blame you

Believer: but i want you to!
I dont want to be healed. I want to have her back.